Stayed up late watching The Bachelor?

Me too.

Sweet Eric joined me for the “journey” of watching what can only be described as an epic finale to a ridiculous show I love to simultaneously mock and watch.

Eric calls the show “Who will I propose to and then divorce in 6 months?”  and yet we watch while staying up late, eating green tea ice cream from Aunt Esther & Lucky Charms, and of course dissecting every aspect of these relationships from our couch.

Doesn’t Arie look a little like Fred Armisen? Is Becca the right one? Is Lauryn too insecure for marriage? Didn’t Arie do the right thing in breaking it off before walking down the aisle?

The best part of the show is the tweets the next morning. It’s hard not to fall into the Twitter hole and find yourself checking out Buzzfeed, clicking thru to New York Times articles, finding funny memes and then discovering you’ve wasted a solid 30 minutes looking through facetious but genius pics like these:

Or this one: 50 Hilarious Memes That Will Make Parents Of Young Kids Laugh/Cry 

So a few tips for you this week. One, if you’ve tried unsuccessfully to get your family to adopt the “dishes are dirty” magnet on your dishwasher – fear not. I’ve devised a new strategy which is the zero effort name card: Dirty vs. Clean.

Everyone just needs to flip this card which is strategically placed on the kitchen counter. 100% success rate thus far:

Another important tip: Do not eat at Texas de Brazil. Seb got a kick out of the meat coming to the table concept and convinced us all to go last Saturday. His digestive system also got a kick from food poisoning that has kept him home from school for 2 days. They also overcharged us.

While we watched “Ghostbusters” and I fed him chicken tenders, croissants and banana smoothies made with vanilla ice cream & Pedialyte to nurse him back to health…Seb bemoaned his choice of restaurant. Never again.

I should mention that I served him his “room service” on a Downton Abbey-esque silver tray from mom (aka Bubbe) who people say “looks British, asks Yiddish” which very accurately describes a lady who dines on silver and then shovels concrete in Papua New Guinea with Teen Missions.

Seb seems to be on the mend.  Being at home with him and foregoing errands for 2 days has afforded me the delightful opportunity to take inventory before my next Costco trek.

Which means I must report that I firmly believe there is a vast conspiracy afoot by Umpqua oats & Kind bars to stick flavors no one likes into their variety packs. I’m sorry but why do we get 4 of the Apple Umpqua oats and only 1 Salted Caramel? Why do we get 5 Vanilla Madagascar Kind bars when we only really eat the Dark chocolate / sea salt ones?

I’d like food to be like iTunes – don’t give me the full album. Give me what I want.

Speaking of iTunes, Coco introduced me to this new song I just can’t get enough of:

It’s 7:12AM and the littles ones are still asleep. Which is strange because MJ usually keeps our family happy hour (4:30-6AM) lively as we all catch up around the kitchen island with Stumptown coffee, milk bottles, and tea.

Topics today? The day’s schedule (trundle delivery, cloth diaper delivery, Coco’s AP Euro Midterm, Pheebs’ SAT tomorrow, dad’s travel schedule), read The New York Times to debate the latest North Korea happenings, and watch the news in the background to see if we’re getting another snow day.

And discuss how many days are left until Aunt Esther’s next visit!!:


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